Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
When I spoke with Dr. P last week, I mentioned that I was anxious to see a dermatologist due to my fair skin and a history of blistering sunburns from when I was child hanging out at the neighborhood pool all day, every day during the summers. It hasn't been that long ago, but I don't believe they made sunscreen back in the 70s. I have vague memories of the Coppertone billboard with a dog pulling down the back of a little girl's bikini, but I seriously doubt that product was a broad spectrum, high SPF sunblock like what is available today, if it even was any type of sunscreen at all. There certainly wasn't the awareness of the dangers of sun exposure, and now we have the whole ozone depletion thing contributing to the problem too...
When I was a teenager, I remember broiling under the sun during its most intense hours, baby oil glistening on my pale skin. When I turned 19 or 20, I finally realized that no matter how extreme my attempts to obtain a bronzed skin tone, I would never exceed ivory. Since then, I have tried to be careful in limiting sun exposure. Nonetheless, I am a greater risk than the general population due to my history and fair skin.
I had actually brought this concern up a couple of months ago when I first began seeing Dr. P, and she suggested we wait until I got through the breast cancer treatment. "Yes," I had agreed at that time, "Let's deal with one cancer at a time." I am not becoming a hypochondriac, I just want to take the appropriate actions to safeguard my health. As you can imagine, early detection is very important to me these days.
Last week, I showed her a little spot on my upper lip that wasn't healing. She said it was most likely a solar keratosis, and she went ahead set up an appointment for me with a dermatologist. I went to the dermatologist on Monday, and sure enough, the spot on my lip was an actinic keratosis. The dermatologist froze it off because left untreated, it could have turned into squamous cell carcinoma. He did check the rest of my body, and I told him to take a really good look at my scalp while he could because it would soon be covered with hair again - permanently. He found no suspicious areas there or anyhere else on my body. He asked, out of curiousity I guess, if the loose skin on my abdomen was due to weight loss as a result of the cancer. "No," I said. "That would be due to three babies." Other than that forgiveable faux pas, I liked him and will add him to my stable of doctors. I need to return in three weeks for a follow up.
Over the last few months, I have had lots of practice at reducing whatever tendencies I have had towards vanity. Today, I attended a networking luncheon with a group of women I had never met before. Not only did I show up obviously bald under my hat, I was also sporting a huge blister on my upper lip (the former site of the actinic keratosis). You know what? I am actually beyond self-conscious now, and I mostly forget that I look different on the outside than I used to. I just act the same way I always have towards people, and in return, I get the same response I always have. It has been a tremendous learning and growth opportunity for me and is very freeing. That being said, I will be very happy when I return to my former look. I said I was reducing my tendencies towards vanity, not eliminating!
When I was a teenager, I remember broiling under the sun during its most intense hours, baby oil glistening on my pale skin. When I turned 19 or 20, I finally realized that no matter how extreme my attempts to obtain a bronzed skin tone, I would never exceed ivory. Since then, I have tried to be careful in limiting sun exposure. Nonetheless, I am a greater risk than the general population due to my history and fair skin.
I had actually brought this concern up a couple of months ago when I first began seeing Dr. P, and she suggested we wait until I got through the breast cancer treatment. "Yes," I had agreed at that time, "Let's deal with one cancer at a time." I am not becoming a hypochondriac, I just want to take the appropriate actions to safeguard my health. As you can imagine, early detection is very important to me these days.
Last week, I showed her a little spot on my upper lip that wasn't healing. She said it was most likely a solar keratosis, and she went ahead set up an appointment for me with a dermatologist. I went to the dermatologist on Monday, and sure enough, the spot on my lip was an actinic keratosis. The dermatologist froze it off because left untreated, it could have turned into squamous cell carcinoma. He did check the rest of my body, and I told him to take a really good look at my scalp while he could because it would soon be covered with hair again - permanently. He found no suspicious areas there or anyhere else on my body. He asked, out of curiousity I guess, if the loose skin on my abdomen was due to weight loss as a result of the cancer. "No," I said. "That would be due to three babies." Other than that forgiveable faux pas, I liked him and will add him to my stable of doctors. I need to return in three weeks for a follow up.
Over the last few months, I have had lots of practice at reducing whatever tendencies I have had towards vanity. Today, I attended a networking luncheon with a group of women I had never met before. Not only did I show up obviously bald under my hat, I was also sporting a huge blister on my upper lip (the former site of the actinic keratosis). You know what? I am actually beyond self-conscious now, and I mostly forget that I look different on the outside than I used to. I just act the same way I always have towards people, and in return, I get the same response I always have. It has been a tremendous learning and growth opportunity for me and is very freeing. That being said, I will be very happy when I return to my former look. I said I was reducing my tendencies towards vanity, not eliminating!
posted by Mary @ 8:55 PM
1 Comments:
At 11:30 AM,
Planet Subaru Blogger said…
As I get older and my body changes, I'm experiencing some of the feelings that you describe about your evolving relationship with your appearance. I think you look better with each passing year....appearance is more than just a function of the tightness of our skin, it's the energy and vitality that we project from our deepest selves....which I guess explains why you can meet young people who look terrible and some people in their 70s who look so vital and elegant.
Among many other disconcerting changes (some too gnarly to discuss here), my hair is turning gre. But I feel like I earned every last grey hair and each is a symbol of a difficult time that I weathered or a triumph that I worked really hard for in my life. They're like a big collection of Super Bowl rings.
How exciting it is to know that once all the treatments are over you'll be able to go back to your normal appearance plus you'll have a whole new outlook too.
Post a Comment
<< Home