Hats Galore
My sister-in-law, JoLynn, sure knows how to throw a party. This past Saturday was the day of the hat party. A few people told me that they had never heard of a hat party before. Well neither had I, and it is something I wouldn't have minded going a lifetime not having, but if you have breast cancer, you may as well have a party!
We had the gathering at my mother-in-law's place down on the Rapahannock River, close to the Chesapeake Bay. It is one of my favorite places in the world to go. During one of my hypnosis sessions, when Andi told me to imagine a place of peace and relaxation, the loveseat on Mama's screened in porch, is where my mind took me. Charlene, my other sister-in-law calls that loveseat my happy spot. It really is.
It was a beautiful day. Even though it is the middle of August, the savage heat of summer had retreated, at least for that day. Being on the river, we were caressed by a nice breeze as well. At one point, I actually had to borrow a sweater. Ann and Abbie, two of my Mom's friends (and mine too) who traveled from Blacksburg for the party, said that I looked so much like my Mom at that moment. (My Mom was always cold and was never without a sweater, until hot flashes entered her life.) I have noticed the same thing as I get older. I will catch glimpses of myself in the mirror and see my Mom looking back at me. I can't help but think it must be bittersweet for my Dad...
Guests were asked to bring a hat and wear a hat. Everyone looked so great in their hats. I don't know why we women don't wear them more often. I am having so much fun with them that even after my hair grows back, I plan to keep wearing them. (I have only worn a wig once, and it just looked and felt so unnatural to me that I went right back to the hats.) I do intend to donate some of the hats to the Hat Trader to loan to other women who are experiencing hair loss as the result of chemo.
After chowing down on the yummy munchies that JoLynn and Mama had prepared, and following the serving of the cake that was in the shape of hat, we all settled down on the screened in porch so I could open all of the gift bags containing hats, hats, and more hats. Most of the guests also gave me the hats they wore to the party. I was overwhelmed by it all.
As I opened the bags, I tried on each hat. The first time I bared my head for all to see was a little uncomfortable (for me), but I knew I was among friends and family who didn't care about my almost bald head. Afterall, that was why they were all there - to support me during this time. I never thought I would be so self-conscious about it, but I don't really think you can understand how traumatic it is to suddenly lose your hair until you actually experience it.
I received so many beautiful hats in many different styles and colors. The predominant color of the day was pink, in various shades and patterns. Some hats were made from fabric, others from straw, and still others from paper that looked kind of like fabric. My Dad had picked out a very attractive wool hat during his recent travels throughout Nova Scotia that will be perfect when the weather gets cold. (By my estimates, I probably won't have a full head of hair again until late winter, maybe February or so...) The hat was from him and his signficant other, Laura, but because no men apparently wanted to endure the hat party, Laura brought the hat over by herself. (Mama sent her husband, Richard, upstairs to his room for the party, but I am sure he would have retreated there on his own had he not been banished.) I also received some scarves and maybe someone can help this fashion-challenged woman figure out what do do with them. Volunteers, anyone?
In addition to the more sophisticated hats, I received baseball caps in every color of the rainbow. Some were plain, a couple had fancy monograms, and one was even adorned with a huge plastic crib hunched on the bill with springy legs clicking away. (This was not indicative of my disposition but rather a reflection of this region which is known for its crabs). Charlene, who knows every one within a fify mile radius of the area, had collected caps from many of the local establishments, including J & W Seafood, and the Sandy Bottom Market and McCauley's Welding. (As I was cleaning up the house earlier that morning, I was trying to figure out what to do with all of the boy's caps, including, Bo's. I was thinking we may have to get rid of some of them. Now we definitely have to get rid of theirs - to make room for mine. I have more caps than the four of them combined!)
I was so touched by the effort that Bo's family (and now mine) put into the party, the generosity of all of the partygoers, and the love and support I continue to receive from everyone who was there and everyone who would have been there if they could have been. After all the hats were packed back into their bags, I told everyone how much fun I had, what a great party it was, and that I hoped that I, nor they, ever had to attend a hat party again! That being said, I would do the same thing for any friend or family member who had to undergo chemo. It was a special day.
Abbie and Ann came home with me and spent the night before returning to Blacksburg on Sunday. Abbie had breast cancer 17 years ago. She was diagnosed at 45, and her situation was similar to mine. She is an inspiration, and I really enjoyed the opportunity to talk to her about her experiences. It helps me to talk to long-term survivors since my closest experience to breast cancer is my mother's, and my mind can't help but visit that place occasionally, even though I refuse to have her outcome.
I happened to receive a PMC care package from my cousin, Kathy, that day, and it contained, of all things, a fluorescent, lime green Pan Mass Challenge baseball cap. The one color of the rainbow I was missing... While I haven't spoken to her since last weekend, she obviously survived her 90 mile bike ride to raise money for cancer research. She had called me the night prior to the ride to let me know that she would be thinking of me during the ride. I will have to check in and see how her fundraising is going.
If anyone needs to borrow a hat... I am your lady!
We had the gathering at my mother-in-law's place down on the Rapahannock River, close to the Chesapeake Bay. It is one of my favorite places in the world to go. During one of my hypnosis sessions, when Andi told me to imagine a place of peace and relaxation, the loveseat on Mama's screened in porch, is where my mind took me. Charlene, my other sister-in-law calls that loveseat my happy spot. It really is.
It was a beautiful day. Even though it is the middle of August, the savage heat of summer had retreated, at least for that day. Being on the river, we were caressed by a nice breeze as well. At one point, I actually had to borrow a sweater. Ann and Abbie, two of my Mom's friends (and mine too) who traveled from Blacksburg for the party, said that I looked so much like my Mom at that moment. (My Mom was always cold and was never without a sweater, until hot flashes entered her life.) I have noticed the same thing as I get older. I will catch glimpses of myself in the mirror and see my Mom looking back at me. I can't help but think it must be bittersweet for my Dad...
Guests were asked to bring a hat and wear a hat. Everyone looked so great in their hats. I don't know why we women don't wear them more often. I am having so much fun with them that even after my hair grows back, I plan to keep wearing them. (I have only worn a wig once, and it just looked and felt so unnatural to me that I went right back to the hats.) I do intend to donate some of the hats to the Hat Trader to loan to other women who are experiencing hair loss as the result of chemo.
After chowing down on the yummy munchies that JoLynn and Mama had prepared, and following the serving of the cake that was in the shape of hat, we all settled down on the screened in porch so I could open all of the gift bags containing hats, hats, and more hats. Most of the guests also gave me the hats they wore to the party. I was overwhelmed by it all.
As I opened the bags, I tried on each hat. The first time I bared my head for all to see was a little uncomfortable (for me), but I knew I was among friends and family who didn't care about my almost bald head. Afterall, that was why they were all there - to support me during this time. I never thought I would be so self-conscious about it, but I don't really think you can understand how traumatic it is to suddenly lose your hair until you actually experience it.
I received so many beautiful hats in many different styles and colors. The predominant color of the day was pink, in various shades and patterns. Some hats were made from fabric, others from straw, and still others from paper that looked kind of like fabric. My Dad had picked out a very attractive wool hat during his recent travels throughout Nova Scotia that will be perfect when the weather gets cold. (By my estimates, I probably won't have a full head of hair again until late winter, maybe February or so...) The hat was from him and his signficant other, Laura, but because no men apparently wanted to endure the hat party, Laura brought the hat over by herself. (Mama sent her husband, Richard, upstairs to his room for the party, but I am sure he would have retreated there on his own had he not been banished.) I also received some scarves and maybe someone can help this fashion-challenged woman figure out what do do with them. Volunteers, anyone?
In addition to the more sophisticated hats, I received baseball caps in every color of the rainbow. Some were plain, a couple had fancy monograms, and one was even adorned with a huge plastic crib hunched on the bill with springy legs clicking away. (This was not indicative of my disposition but rather a reflection of this region which is known for its crabs). Charlene, who knows every one within a fify mile radius of the area, had collected caps from many of the local establishments, including J & W Seafood, and the Sandy Bottom Market and McCauley's Welding. (As I was cleaning up the house earlier that morning, I was trying to figure out what to do with all of the boy's caps, including, Bo's. I was thinking we may have to get rid of some of them. Now we definitely have to get rid of theirs - to make room for mine. I have more caps than the four of them combined!)
I was so touched by the effort that Bo's family (and now mine) put into the party, the generosity of all of the partygoers, and the love and support I continue to receive from everyone who was there and everyone who would have been there if they could have been. After all the hats were packed back into their bags, I told everyone how much fun I had, what a great party it was, and that I hoped that I, nor they, ever had to attend a hat party again! That being said, I would do the same thing for any friend or family member who had to undergo chemo. It was a special day.
Abbie and Ann came home with me and spent the night before returning to Blacksburg on Sunday. Abbie had breast cancer 17 years ago. She was diagnosed at 45, and her situation was similar to mine. She is an inspiration, and I really enjoyed the opportunity to talk to her about her experiences. It helps me to talk to long-term survivors since my closest experience to breast cancer is my mother's, and my mind can't help but visit that place occasionally, even though I refuse to have her outcome.
I happened to receive a PMC care package from my cousin, Kathy, that day, and it contained, of all things, a fluorescent, lime green Pan Mass Challenge baseball cap. The one color of the rainbow I was missing... While I haven't spoken to her since last weekend, she obviously survived her 90 mile bike ride to raise money for cancer research. She had called me the night prior to the ride to let me know that she would be thinking of me during the ride. I will have to check in and see how her fundraising is going.
If anyone needs to borrow a hat... I am your lady!
posted by Mary @ 8:16 PM
1 Comments:
At 11:32 AM,
Planet Subaru Blogger said…
Hey Mary,
I love your use of language and colorful works....the wind didn't blow, it "caressed," the heat in July wasn't hot, it was "savage" (indeed it was, even in Massachusetts up in New England where it reached 103), Richard wasn't just away, he was "banished!"
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