A Return to the "Routine"

This past week saw our lives return pretty much to their pre-surgical routine. After nearly two weeks with company, our last guest departed last Sunday morning. My brother, Jeff, stayed with us for nearly a week at the time of the surgery, and even though he wouldn't do windows or wounds, he was still handy to have around for entertainment purposes. The boys love to wrestle with their Uncle Jeff, and he complied with their frequent requests. Jeff and I played countless games of Scrabble, most of which he won. (In our family, when it comes to Scrabble, there is no mercy shown, apparently not even for the recently hospitalized or body part-deprived members.)

Shortly after Jeff's return to Massachusetts, my friend, Ann, arrived from Blacksburg for several days to keep me company. She was one of my Mom's best friends and is like a second mother to me. The boys know her as Nanny Ann, and I refer to her as their Irish Memere. Then, another dear family friend, Patrik, aka Blue Toenail (I think there is great potential for a band names here), visited over the weekend. He lives in Sweden but was in Kansas on business and figured since he was "so close", he would stop by to see us. I am very glad he did. We hadn't seen him in the three years since his last visit to the states. Nothing much has changed except he has more hair than me now, but not by much!

(I haven't obsessed over the topic of hair lately, so I may as well provide a little update: It only took a week to fall out, but it sure is taking its sweet old time coming back. When it fell out, I noticed it departed in the male pattern baldness manner - first in the front and top and then on the sides and back. Its return is much more gradual, but in the same manner. I have noticeably more growth on the sides and back than in the front and on top, but even if the "comb-over" were possible, I just don't think it's me. The hair is thin, but what is coming in seems to be kind of curly, as I have heard it might be. There is more gray mixed in than I would like, but as Bo reminded me, "It is hair." Good point. There is not much progress on the eyelash or eyebrow front, but I am sure that once the chemo is fully out of my system, which should be very soon now, I will have a flurry of new growth everywhere. Due to the blatantly unjust nature of chemo, the one place where the hair seems to be making a quicker comeback is on my legs. Last place to lose it, first place to regain it. Well, if that is a sign of my hirsute future, I will take it, and I will never complain about being hairy again!)

I took two more days off before returning to work on Wednesday. Since I have a home-based business, returning to work wasn't a significant event. It merely meant commuting from my bedroom to my office sometime during the morning hours and getting back into the routine of work. I was able to catch up on e-mails and phone calls, and I went to my weekly networking meeting on Friday morning.

Of course it wouldn't be a routine week these days without a visit to one of my many doctors, and this week, it was back to the surgeon's office on Friday. I saw Donna again, and she removed drain #3. For some reason, it didn't hurt that much this time - maybe because I knew what to expect. For the first time ever, I went to the office without Bo (he was working), but Sharon, one of the nurses, graciously allowed me to squeeze her hand during the drain removal process. I also had fluid build up on the left side, where the drains had already been removed. It looked like I was growing another breast, but it was quickly "deflated" with a syringe.

Donna mentioned that she had spoken to Dr. H, and he said we definitely needed to proceed with radiation. I asked if Dr. H was otherwise encouraged by the pathology report, and she said, "Well, he would have preferred no positive lymph nodes." Yea, me too. I always seem to leave that office in such a funk. Dr. P focuses on the 25 lymph nodes that aren't positive. Dr. H focuses on the two that are. It is fascinating to observe first-hand how the different attitudes of the doctors can have such a dramatic effect on a patient's own attitude. Both doctors have all of the same clinical information about me specifically and about breast cancer in general. From my very first visit with him though, I have felt like Dr. H has been much more doom and gloom about my situation than Dr. P. Interestingly enough, also from the very beginning, Dr. H has emphasized the importance of maintaining a positive attitude, so I am confident that he is unaware of how what he says or doesn't say has a negative effect on me. (I probably tend to read more into things than the average person though.) That all being said, I am glad he is my doctor. He is an excellent surgeon, and I have never doubted for a single moment that he is 100% committed to my health and well-being.

I am still draining copious amounts of fluid from that last drain, so if I am able to give thanks for its removal prior to Thanksgiving, I will be surprised. I am anxious to be drain-free for several reasons. While the weight of this last drain no longer drags my "shape" south, it does limit my movements somewhat. I can't exercise yet, and I really miss the mood enhancing endorphin release I was getting from my almost daily appointment with the treadmill. I still have to be careful how I sleep, too. Also, I haven't been able to take a shower or real bath in over two weeks! It's not as bad as it sounds though. I am able to get in a bath tub with a few inches of water and use a wash rag to clean up. I don't seem to be driving people away in droves, so I guess it is working. Nonetheless, I am looking forward to a long, hot shower, or a deep, luxurious, bubble bath one of these days soon! It is so easy to take for granted these simple pleasures in life. It is a lesson I hope not to forget once all of "this" is behind me.